Of course we all know, “mothers know best!” Here is some collective mommy wisdom and famous quotes to get you through the “joys of motherhood…”.
“A mother’s menu should consist of two choices: Take it or leave it.”
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
“I asked my mom if I was a gifted child and she said “well, we certainly wouldn’t have paid for you.”
“Most children threaten to run away from home, which is sometimes the only thing that keeps parents going.”
“It’s not easy being a mother, if it were, fathers would do it.”
“We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to talk and walk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.”
“Poverty is hereditary – you get it from your children.”
“I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids.”
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”
“I know how to do anything – I’m a Mom.”
“If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylum would be filled with mothers.”
“The mother of three dreadfully rowdy youngsters was asked whether or not she’d have children if she had it to do over again. ‘Yes’, she replied ‘but not the same ones.’”
“The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn’t getting enough sleep.”
“Children are a great comfort in your old age. Plus, they get you there much quicker”
“Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with her eyes closed.”
“Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young”
“Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.”
“Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare.”
“Children are gleeful barbarians.”
“Child rearing myth #1: Labor ends when the baby is born.”
“There never was a child so lovely that his mother wasn’t glad to get him asleep.”
“I’m a mother with small children, so I don’t take as much crap as I used to.”
“A mother is a person who, when seeing there are only four pieces of pie and five people, promptly announces that she never did care for pie.”
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